Saturday, May 3, 2014

My Talk for Mom's Funeral

Mom’s Funeral Talk

There are three different topics that I want to share with everyone today.  First, I will read a letter from Carolyn Meinhart, one of Mom’s dearest friends.  Carolyn could not be here for the funeral, but she wanted me to share her thoughts with Wendy’s family and friends and I agree that her thoughts are very fitting for this day:

à Read Letter

Next, I would like to include the thoughts of my sweet wife, Amy.  Amy and my children are devastated that they could not be here today.  Amy just gave birth to Mom’s 7th grandchild, Jarrett Russell Brown on 4/21 and it was just too soon for her and the baby to travel across the country.  But again, I want to share some of her thoughts about her “Mama”:

I always knew that I was so blessed to have Wendy (most of the time I called her Mama) for my mother-in-law.  Every time I would hear a friend complain about his or her in-laws, I would just smile to myself and be happy that I could not relate.  People would be jealous when they looked for sympathy and I would explain that I just couldn’t relate because my mother-in-law wasn’t: meddling, controlling, disapproving, unkind, deceptive or just plain mean towards me.  Quite the contrary, from the very beginning, Mama was always accepting and very kind.  She took every opportunity (either in writing or in person) to tell me how grateful she was that I had married her son.  She always built me up by telling me what a good wife and mother I was being and by telling me about the wonderful qualities she noticed in me. It was joked about often that, if for some reason Jason and I ever split up, she and Russell were keeping me instead of him. 

As I looked at the cute little ducky flower arrangement that Mama sent on the day Jarrett was born, I was reminded of another one of Mama’s great qualities.  She always remembered everyone’s birthdays and special occasions……..well enough in advance to send a card or a gift that would actually arrive on the special day………if not before.  Often it was before and we would wait in anticipation to open it.  She always sent flowers for every baby I had and for every Mother’s Day.  On the kids’ birthdays, she would send a birthday gift for the birthday child and un-birthday gifts for everyone else.  (Of course, this was a tradition that they all looked forward to! ;))  I always felt that this showed her generous nature.  She wanted everyone to enjoy their special occasions and to know that they were remembered, even though she was far away.

Mama was a mother who was fully invested in her children’s lives, even though they were all grown and living away from home.  She was always interested in medicine and healing and she would do so much research into whatever was ailing us and then would send articles and information, sometimes whole books, on the subject or would send products in the mail for us to try. She was always concerned with whatever was going on and would try to actually do something to help.  If you ever mentioned anything to her on the phone, you can bet that you would be getting a package in the mail in a few days with something that would help you with whatever it was.  

Like my daughter Ashtyn said in her message on the memorial board, I also wish that Wendy hadn’t died.  I wish that she were coming to Colorado this weekend with your dad and that everything would be lovely and wonderful, just like we planned.  But, I have to try to trust in Heavenly Father’s timing and not be upset about how He chose to orchestrate this, for whatever reason.  I do believe that she can watch over us now and that she has seen Jarrett and that she can love him (and all of the kids)  in a different way now.  She sees more and understands more than we can in the mortal realm.


Finally, I would like to share some of my feelings about my dear, sweet Mother.  We were joking a little the other day that we were thankful that you only have to bury your mother once in a lifetime – it’s just too painful.  But as I think of my Mother, I think that we are actually burying 5 mothers at once today.  My sweet mother was so very caring and had such a personal and deep relationship with each of us that I know we can ALL say that she was literally a different mother to each of her children à in words, actions, thoughts and deeds. She ALWAYS knew exactly what we needed.  Whenever we needed her, she gave herself to us 100%.  When Mom was helping you or talking to you or loving you or caring for you – you thought you were an only child – she dedicated herself directly to you.  My wife has felt that care and love as well – she really felt like she was one of my Mom’s daughters (and more preferred than the oldest son, I might add…)

As I have thought about how to share my feelings for my mother over the past week, I have decided that the best way to express my feelings is to try and teach to you what my Mother has taught to everyone she knows.  I want to teach you about three important anchors in my Mother’s life.  On the topic of anchors, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf – a counselor to the Prophet of the LDS church – recently stated:

The purpose of an anchor is to keep a ship safe and secure at a desired location or to help control the ship during bad weather. However, to accomplish these vital purposes, just having an anchor is not enough. The anchor must be solid, dependable, and used properly at the right time and place.

Individuals and families need anchors as well.

Adversity can come as a great storm to blow us off course and threaten to cast us against the rocks. But sometimes we are also in danger when everything appears to be safe—the winds soft and the waters smooth. In fact, we can be in the greatest danger when we are drifting and movement is so slight that we scarcely notice it.

In thinking about my Mother, she had many anchors in her life that helped her to endure a lifetime of difficulties and trails that very few humans that ever lived could have endured.  There are 3 anchors in particular that I want to share with you today:

1.     The Anchor of Light à As a professional landscape artist, Mother knew the importance of light and shadowing in her work.  In my opinion, she mastered the ability to expertly distribute the light and shadows throughout all of her work.  One look at the painting of the Dove that hangs in my Father’s office at work can convince you of Mom’s mastery of Light.  Light was very important to Mother – she wanted her home to be full of windows to let in the light, there are candles everyone in her home that symbolize light to her. But Mom’s knowledge of Light transcended beyond her art and into her heart. 
a.     Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life John 8:12
b.     My Mom had a very deep and personal testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  The light of the Gospel lit her path every day, it gave her inspiration in her artwork, in her relationships with her husband and her children and in her dealings with her fellowman.  The light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ often revealed to her the needs of others and she would quickly orchestrate whatever was needed to help. Just last week, Mom & Dad were led by the spirit to visit with a friend in need.  Mom immediately made dozens of phone calls to ensure that the all needs were being met. 
c.      As mentioned by Tracie, a rainbow was a very important symbol to my mother and she has made it a very important symbol to all of us.  In the 9th chapter of Genesis, we learn of the symbolic nature of the Rainbow – a sign of the covenant between God and the Earth that the earth will never be flooded again.  For my Mother and for me, the Rainbow is the symbol of another covenant – the covenants that we made at the time of baptism.  We promised to keep God’s commandments, always remember him and take upon us the name of Jesus Christ.  God’s promise is to always be with us.  Brothers and Sisters – God was ALWAYS with my mother.  She always kept her part of the covenant (always obeying his commandments, always remembering him, always acting like a true Christian).  God always kept His part of the covenant.  His spirit was always with my Mother and if you knew my Mother, you knew that she was a true daughter of our Heavenly Father – a true Christian to the very end!
d.     To this very day, any time I see a Rainbow, I think of my Mother, I think of Light, I think of the Gospel, I think of my Savior Jesus Christ, I think again of my Mother and I know that every thing will be alright.  Moving forward, it is so warming to know that I will see my Mother’s glowing face in every Rainbow in the sky – in every Rainbow emitting from every shard of glass hanging from every chandelier!
2.     The Anchor of Rocks à Again, going back to my mother’s artwork, she loved to paint landscapes and I have always loved her renditions of streams and rocks.  At the entry way to her home, she has a little dish filled with rocks.  They serve as another symbol of her faith in the Lord Jesus Christ:
a.     In the book of Mormon, the prophet Helaman taught:
                                               i.      12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
b.     My mother had a difficult life and had many, many trials.  But she built her foundation upon the Rock of our Redeemer Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ was her anchor through all of the storms of her life.  She carried burdens that no human should ever have to carry.  As we’ve reflected on my Mom’s life this week, we’ve wondered how she could have possibly endured so much pain – emotionally, mentally, physically.  But she knew how to carry the pain – she understood the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  She placed her heavy burdens on his shoulders and he carried the pain for her, just like he carries the pain for all of us – if we let him.  That bowl of rocks in the entryway of Mom’s home is an incredible symbol.  All too often, we return home everyday carrying such heavy and difficult burdens – but we should do what my Mom learned to do – what she would want ALL of us to do  – we should leave those burdens on rocks as we enter our homes and focus on what really matters – our families, our faith, our happiness.
3.     Anchor of Love à Mom loved everyone!!  I can honestly say that Mom didn’t really say negative things about anyone.  Her love was eternal and very personal.  She didn’t have a “form letter” type of love.  She had a deep, individualized “love letter” type of love.  On the flight out this past Tuesday, I reflected on my Mother’s love as I wrote the following in my own journal.  I want to read this excerpt to you:

I have always looked to Mom & Dad's love as an example of how I should love my wife. They were and are true eternal companions! I am so glad that I am eternally sealed to these great people. Just like everyone, they had their faults, but I truly think that their love for each other was a perfect love. They teased each other, they bickered with each other, but they deeply loved each other and that love only grew stronger over time. There was NEVER anyone else. Mom was Dad’s best friend and Dad was Mom’s best friend.  They never did anything without each other.  Inseparable!! I can't wait to hold my Dad today and let him know how much his love for my Mom has made me into who I am today. As a parent now, I am realizing just how important family ties and love really are. It really is EVERYTHING!! My parents are definitely testaments of just how important it is. Without their love for each other and for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, our family would have never made it!

I miss you Mom, but I'm glad that you've moved on to a better place!!

Love was not only just an anchor for my Mom, her love was an anchor for the rest of us.  Her love is what kept all of us together and made us all into what we are today.  My mom will forever by my anchor, my rainbow, my rock, my hope, my guide.  I know that she still lives and will continue to be a part of my life, my siblings life, my Dad’s life, my children’s lives.  In conclusion, I want to read one last excerpt from my Journal:

I love my Mother with all of my heart and I can’t put into words how much she means to me, my father, my siblings and my children. However, I can honestly say that I'm very, very glad that she has moved on to a better place. She has been is such pain for so long, dealing with all of the back and bone issues. Now, her body will be perfect and she will return to live with her Heavenly Father.  She was definitely a woman of such deep faith and conviction. She supported and helped so many people in her life. She touched so many people! She will be sorely missed, but her legacy, her children, will live on. We will continue the work that she started. She will continue her work from the other side and we will be her instruments. It is now our mission to help and support others - to place others ahead of ourselves - to be the true Christians that my sweet Mother was to everyone her entire life


No comments:

Post a Comment