Everyone is finally asleep and the house is quiet. I have been thinking about your mom this afternoon and wanted to write down a few thoughts. Tomorrow she and Russell were supposed to be flying out here to spend a week with us. It was going to be such a wonderful time with everyone. They would get to meet Jarrett and hold him and participate in his special blessing at church. They would get to catch up with all of the grandkids. The kids were going to be out of school and everyone was really looking forward to it. I don’t know why Heavenly Father wanted to call her back home before we were able to have one last special time together. Like Ashtyn said in her message on the memorial board, I also wish that your mom hadn’t died. I wish that she were coming here tomorrow with your dad and that everything would be lovely and wonderful, just like we planned. But, I have to try to trust in Heavenly Father’s timing and not be upset about how He chose to orchestrate this, for whatever reason. I do believe that she can watch over us now and that she has seen Jarrett and that she can love him (and all of the kids) in a different way now. She sees more and understands more than we can in the mortal realm.
I always knew that I was so blessed to have Wendy (most of the time I called her Mama) for my mother-in-law. Every time I would hear a friend complain about his or her in-laws, I would just smile to myself and be happy that I could not relate. People would be jealous when they looked for sympathy and I would explain that I just couldn’t relate because my mother-in-law wasn’t: meddling, controlling, disapproving, unkind, deceptive or just plain mean towards me. Quite the contrary, from the very beginning, Mama was always accepting and very kind. She took every opportunity (either in writing or in person) to tell me how grateful she was that I had married her son. She always built me up by telling me what a good wife and mother I was being and by telling me about the wonderful qualities she noticed in me. When we visited with her at church, she would almost always take a moment in Relief Society to say how glad she was that we were there and what wonderful daughter-in-law I was. It was joked about often that, if for some reason Jason and I ever split up, she and Russell were keeping me instead of him. ;) If she ever thought anything bad about me or the way I parented my kids, I never knew about it. She was always very supportive of whatever we were doing.
As I looked at the cute little ducky flower arrangement on the kitchen table today, I was reminded of another one of Mama’s great qualities. She always remembered everyone’s birthdays and special occasions……..well enough in advance to send a card or a gift that would actually arrive on the special day………if not before. Often it was before and we would wait in anticipation to open it. She always sent flowers for every baby I had and for every Mother’s Day. On the kids’ birthdays, she would send a birthday gift for the birthday child and un-birthday gifts for everyone else. (Of course, this was a tradition that they all looked forward to! ;)) I always felt that this showed her generous nature. She wanted everyone to enjoy their special occasions and to know that they were remembered, even though she was far away. Jason and I have never been quite so timely or good at remembering, but perhaps that is something we can work on as a tribute to her memory.
Mama was a mother who was fully invested in her children’s lives, even though they were all grown and living away from home. She was always interested in medicine and healing and she would do so much research into whatever was ailing us and then would send articles and information, sometimes whole books, on the subject or would send products in the mail for us to try. She was the catalyst for getting Jason into a rheumatologist this year and finally getting him diagnosed with the arthritic disorder that he has had for years. He is now on the road to real recovery because she was willing to take the time to research what he mentioned on the phone and push him to do something more than complain about it. I know that she has been similarly helpful to her other children in the realms of both physical and spiritual healing. She was always concerned with whatever was going on and would try to actually do something to help. If you ever mentioned anything to her on the phone, you can bet that you would be getting a package in the mail in a few days with something that would help you with whatever it was.
There are so many other things that I could say about Mama, but that will have to suffice for now. I am glad that you are there to help your dad and your siblings. We are praying for you to have the strength that you need and that the time together will be uniting and healing for all of you. We miss you a lot and we still wish we were there to share this experience with you, but hopefully you will feel our prayers and love from afar.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Love, Amy
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