Wow - I am experiencing a whirlwind of emotions and I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to feel or act. I had a very busy day at work yesterday, complete with many different customer calls and work to do. I was SHOCKED to get a phone call right in the middle of a conference call with my LSI partners from Dad. He let me know that Mom was dead. He came home from work and found her on the floor at the foot of the bed. It looks like she fell, either in the middle of the night or as she got up in the morning. Right now, they think she hit her head on the window sill and that's how she died, but the coroner will perform an autopsy to be sure it wasn't something else. I'm on a plane back to NC right now. Wow!! I've spoken with Dad a ton and I've been on the phone with my siblings as well. This is a HUGE shock to everyone. Heck - Mom & Dad were supposed to be on a plane to Colorado on Thursday for Jarrett's baby blessing. I can't believe that my sweet mother has passed on! What a huge shock. I'm really going to miss here a ton!! My brother wrote such a great testimonial about her on facebook yesterday. I was very impressed by it - he did a great job expressing his feelings.
My feelings are hard to describe right now. It's going to take a few days to pull myself together and really comprehend what has happened. I'm happy that I have been blessed with such a great family in Colorado and I know that my Mom was proud of the decisions that we've made as a family. That gives me so much peace and happiness. I can honestly say that I'm very, very glad that she has moved on to a better place. She has been is such pain for so long, dealing with all of the back and bone issues. Now, her body will be perfect and she will return to live with her Heavenly Father. She was definitely a women of such deep faith and conviction. She supported and helped so many people in her life. She touched so many people! This week, as we prepare for the funeral and make other arrangements, I'm sure that we will learn of many other ways where she reached out and touched others for good. She will be sorely missed, but her legacy, her children, will live on. We will continue the work that she started. She will continue her work from the other side and we will be her instruments. It is now our mission to help and support others - to place others ahead of ourselves - to be the true Christians that my sweet Mother was to everyone her entire life! I can honestly say that I've never really heard her say too many negative things about anyone, ever! She always saw the good in others and never faulted anyone for their shortcomings. She was Charity - the pure love of Christ!! I just wish I could give her one last big hug and tell her how much she means to me!! I am glad that I spoke with her on the phone on Sunday night for a while. She was REALLY sick, coughing, and dealing with a sinus infection. Now, she's healed and moving on to her next mission in life!!
I must now turn my thoughts back to my Dad! Wow, I really miss him and I hurt for him. It is so frustrating that it is taking me so long to get back to see him. I bought a ticket home within hours of finding out what happened, but I couldn't get home any sooner than 4pm today. I was hoping to be to Dad's place by noon. It just takes FOREVER to travel to the east coast! I hate it! But, I will be home in about 5 hours, so that gives me peace. I'm not sure what my Dad is going to do, how he is going to move on and manage without Mom to take care of him. He's a strong man, and I know that he can survive, but I know that his heart must be hurting more than I can imagine. I have always looked to Mom & Dad's love as an example of how I should love my wife. Just look at their faces in these two photos:
They were and are true eternal companions! I am so glad that I am eternally sealed to these great people. Just like everyone, they had their faults, but I truly think that their love for each other was a perfect love. They teased each other, they bickered with each other, but they loved each other and that love only grew stronger over time. I can't wait to hold my Dad today and let him know how much his love for my Mom has made me into who I am today. As a parent now, I am realizing just how important family ties and love really are. It really is EVERYTHING!! My parents are definitely testaments of just how important it is. I pray that I will be able to know how to support my Dad and help him in any way possible. I'm willing to have him move into my house if he wants to, but I doubt he would take me up on that! I will definitely do whatever is needed to help him this week and in the future, though.
One thought hit me as I was walking around the house last night - we will never get an original "Wendy Brown" portrait of little baby Jarrett to hang in our home. I think we will need to commission someone else to paint one so that we can hang it along side the rest (or we just have a photo canvased and hang it next to them). I have always been very proud of those paintings and of my mother's artistic skills. She was incredible and even my ealiest memories of Mother included her paintings and her love for art. I am looking forward to walking down memory lane with my family this week. I'm not sure what we will be doing all week, but I hope it includes a bunch of sitting down, laughing, crying and remembering how much our sweet mother loved us and cared for us! I miss you Mom, but I'm glad that you've moved on to a better place!!
Here are a few examples of the great artwork that Mother created. These were posted on facebook by a couple of folks that have her work hanging in their homes:
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